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Joe Bob Briggs "Joe Bob's Drive-In"
"INVASION FOR FLESH AND BLOOD"
| Have you ever noticed that, every time
they do a survey of sex in America, it always looks something like this?
Guys who have cheated on their wives at least once: 75 percent.
Gals who have cheated on their husbands at least once: 20 percent.
Guys who have had sex with 10 women or more: 80 percent.
Gals who have had sex with 10 men or more: 10 percent.
Now what's wrong with this picture?
Are they trying to tell me all the guys are having sex with
the SAME woman? I mean, it seems to me that, if all these guys are engaging in illicit Proboscis-Scarfing, there's got to
be at LEAST a buffalo herd's worth of GALS who are ALSO cranking up the old Rhumba Pumper. You MIGHT get me to believe that
there was, like, 10 percent difference -- 75 percent guys, 65 percent gals. But even THOSE numbers would require at least
a battalion of good-time girls who spend all day long making the Sign of the Merry Mustache with wranglers lined up like Turkish
sailors in a Bangkok opium den. I say it's LIES. Absolute stockyard by-products. I think there's enough methane gas in these
scientific surveys to light up Cleveland in February.
The question is, Who's lying? It could be the guys. "Oh yeah,
I've had soooooo many women I can't even count 'em." It could be the gals. "Oh no, just my husband and maybe two others. And
I was in love with both of them. Nothing like my husband, of course."
Have you ever noticed how sometimes a woman will be married
for 14 years before she'll even admit that, yes, she was technically NOT a virgin when she met her husband, but that was only
because she was young and foolish -- but if you get into the details of exactly HOW she was young and foolish, and WHO she
was young and foolish WITH, her memory gets kinda hazy. And what's even MORE remarkable is that most husbands BELIEVE this.
There's something about the brain of an American male that HAS to believe there were very few episodes of Aardvarkus Hunkamanus
prior to his materializing in her life, and saving her from what would be a life of sexual denial.
Or it could be that the actual sex researchers are lying, even
if they're just unconsciously lying. Because it makes people feel better to think that, well, our men are wild but our women
are sweet. If the numbers ever came out dead even, we might have to conclude that we've just gone hog wild and little things
like marriage certificates don't mean diddly squat anymore. And if the female numbers ever got to be BIGGER than the male
numbers -- if we found out that women cheat more but they're better at covering up -- I'm afraid the story would just be too
much for the collective cardiovascular system of this Newnited States.
That's why they cook the numbers. 'Cause nobody's wearing any
pants. Nobody's even wearing any miniskirts. If you know what I mean, and I think you do.
And speaking of oversexed outer-space aliens, we have another
great Jersey movie this week -- "Invasion for Flesh and Blood." It's the sensitive story of a 200-pound white-trash blonde
with a shotgun who takes on giant lizard-head aliens who like to chomp heads and bite off the private parts of unsuspecting
New Jersey lowlifes. Thanks to deadpan scientists hard at work somewhere inside the White House, she gets turned into a golden
metalhead cyborg that looks like C3PO after a lube job at Sears. Then she teams up with a foul-mouthed, beer-guzzlin' Jersey
guy and they cruise the Turnpike pasting alien hiney.
Two things about this movie. Some of the most inventive death
scenes in ultra-low-budget history, with gouts of goo. And genuinely funny dialogue, thanks to one-man band Warren F. Disbrow,
who wrote it, directed it, produced it, photographed it, edited it, cast his dad in one of the lead parts and dished out the
lasagna at the catering table during production. Warren is the kinda guy who lovingly films the alien eating a security guard
head first and slicing him in half right at the belt line. Warren has way too much time on his hands. Warren has one character
who claws her own eyes out but still FINISHES THE MOVIE.
Obviously my kinda guy.
Thirty-six dead bodies. Eight breasts. Multiple heart-ripping.
Head twisted off. Thirty-seven gallons of blood. Multiple whangdoodle-ripping.
(Don't ask.)
Head-eating. Neck-slashing.
Two thermonuclear mushrooms, with blackened-seafood skeletal
aftermath.
Sleazeball-shotgunning. Throat-slitting. Razor blade to the
nose. Machete to the head. Tree limb through the torso.
Brain-bashing. Eyeball-ripping. Alien autopsy.
Security-guard frying. Security-guard Benihana dinner. Alien
neck-crunching. Arm-chewing. Redneck pancake. Heads roll. Arms
Drive-In Academy Award nominations for ...
- Warren Disbrow Sr., who fights the aliens from
his secret laboratory, for saying, "Those fools actually found the egg chamber."
- Kathy Monks, as the trailer-trash vigilante who
wants to "stop the slaughter that's about to happen."
- Kenneth J. Arotin, as the Jersey kid who becomes
the hero, for saying, "If there's any alien head-bashing, I want in."
- James Cirronella, as the cyborg who tells the
kid, "You will help me or I will pound you into dog doo."
- and Warren F. Disbrow, the drive-in genius filmmaker,
who creates characters so stupid that one of them is a biker who decides to try to defeat the alien lizard man by challenging
him to a fistfight.
Four stars.
Joe Bob says check it out. |
Tattooed Steve: Man I miss "Monstervision"...
Calgary Movies 2005
www.calgarymovies.com
Synopsis:
Flesh Eaters from Outer Space: Something strange is
afoot in the suburbs of New Jersey! Carnivorous entities from out of this world have invaded the Garden State, seeking out
the tastiest dish in the entire universe: human flesh! Now only a gang of burnt-out metalheads and one sexy psychic starlet
can stand up to the alien invaders devious plans of world domination and human consumption! But can anyone stop the bloody
weath of Flesh Eaters from Outer Space?
Invasion for Flesh and Blood: A soccer mom is turned into a
cyborg alien killing machine on the hunt for extraterrestrials hell-bent on destroying the human race. With a trusty teenage
Metalhead at her side, the fate of the world is held in the balace, as sexual tension oozes from the once-human, now soulless,
creature killer. Featuring an appearance by Marilyn Ghigliotti of Clerks.
Holy freakin' moley. That's about all I can say after watching
these two unheralded cinematic gems. I'd never heard of the mighty Warren F. Disbrow before sliding this shiny DVD into my
player to enjoy this b-movie combo, but after having seen his videotaped artistry first-hand, I am impressed - this guys is
the real deal.
Are these shot-on-video, low-budget productions with half-assed
acting and gratuitous do-it-yourself special effects? Yes. Are they thoroughly enjoyable exactly because of these points?
Hell yes!
With plots that only barely hold together, gallons upon gallons
of fake blood, and one of the goofiest looking monster costumes I've ever seen, I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed these
films. Disbrow knows exactly what he's trying to achive with his limited budget and limited acting abilities of the main cast
("Clerks" starlet Marilyn Ghigliotti excluded, of course), and he manages to meld 2 intertwined stories with a rubber suit,
fake blood, numerous death scenes, numerous still photographs inserted to create dramatic moments (the space shuttle being
my favourite)... wow. My eyes are still reeling - if you get a kick out of do-it-yourself b-movies, or just want to see one
man's celluloid dreams on your own little screen, check this DVD out - you won't be disappointed.
Video: How's it look?
Both presented in fullscreen
(1.33:1) ratios, these films look fantastic. Yes, they were (very obviously) shot on Super VHS, and yes they have quite a
bit of bleeding reds (no pun intended) and lousy lighting - but all of this only adds to the ambiance and fantastic vibe created
by these stellar videos. The presentation is as good as they're ever going to get, and they look pretty darned good, all things
considered!
Audio: How's it sound?
Dolby Digital Stereo
mix is equally as enjoyable as the video - for shot-on-video productions, these films have really strong audio mixes, with
crisp & clean dialogue, nice background music, and some groovy sound effects as icing on the cake.
Extras: What all's on the DVD?
- Voracious introduction by Lloyd Kaufman
- Behind-the-scenes footage from the making of Invasion for
Flesh and Blood
- Original theatrical trailer for Invasion for Flesh and Blood
- Commentary tracks by writer/director Warren F. Disbrow on
both Invasion for Flesh and Blood and Flesh Eaters from Outer Space
- The Radiation March!
- Make Your Own Damn Movie DVD commercial
- Webmonkey? Bananas
- Tromatic trailers and much more!
Closing Thoughts
Fantastic 1-2 b-movie combo
+ loads of Troma extras = stellar DVD offering for all you b/sci-fi movie fans out there!
Mr. Paul and the gang at Zombie/Night of the Creeps 2004
http://zombie.dreamhost.com/main.html#Ratings
If you shit your pants when Tae Kwan Do Strikes,
or if you just shit your pants, then you ought to consult your proctologist. However, if you enjoy Incubus, monsters from
outerspace, rednecks getting their dicks torn off, and the endless search for pussy... INVASION FOR FLESH AND BLOOD will slake
your thirst for perverted misadventure. Props to the team of experts over at VEP for putting this one together. Here is a
group of movie lovers up in New Jersy that decided, "We can do this shit too!" And they know the proper elements to employ
in order to create a good time: Tits, Explosions, Random Kills, Lots of Kills, Tits, Drunken Rednecks pissing on monsters
feet... did I mention Tits? Well it has those too. I must hand it to these guys... they put on quite a show.
Before I break my neck kissing the filmmaker's ass, I ought
to fill you in on the mysterious element of movie making Galeb-Duhr likes to call: THE PLOT SUMMARY. Many years ago alien
beings headed to Earth in order to kill, mame, and cause all sorts of (Halloween) havoc. The U.S. Government agency in charge
of thwarting alien threats was called in to eliminate them. Heading to their underground lair The Super Psychic (Super Psychic)
& T. Rex (Bam Bam Bigelow) sought to exterminate the alien (Dennis the) menace by any means necessary... even if it meant
taking their own lives. No tits, but many explosions later, the alien menace was destroyed and Super Psychic & T. Rex
were dead. Or so everyone thought! Turns out Super Psychic wasn't killed in the blast, however, neither were the aliens. Now
one of them is one the loose and killing everyone he can get his slimey little paws on.
That was the wrap-up from what was apparently the prequel to
this quirky high stakes poker game where in Seven Card Stud you Win, Lose, or Die! Enter a group of buddies heading into the
woods to drink a few beers, have a few laughs, and film a documentary on a mysterious witch legend they'd recently heard about.
On their way they're accosted by the monster and all are killed... that is all but one, who we'll call, I don't know, Moe.
He only survived because the Super Psychic escaped from the hospital and made it her personal crusade to kill this monster
(but not before she killed an exhusband of hers for years of abuse). Super Psychic and Moe reluctantly team up and head out
to kill the monster.
Now I could guide you through the occurances of the film step
by step and further assure you that this flick is cool as hell, but what's the point in that. It'll take away the shock and
surprise of most of it. Make no mistake, this movie is cool as hell. It's made by cheap horror lovers for cheap horror lovers.
There's blood, guts, girls taking off their clothes for guys at their windows with cameras. Now where can you find debauchery
like that other than your local Wal-Mart? Give it a shot and help some independent filmmakers out. They need beer money just
like you and me.
-MR. PAUL con un cinque di Vodka
Mr. Paul - Four Skulls (Out of five)
Z Man - Three and a half skulls (Out of five)
Eagle Te - Four Skulls out of five: "While not as catchy a title of the XXXtravaganza "Invasion for Tits
and Ass," Invasion for Flesh and Blood ranks as probably the funniest cheap ass independent horror flick we have ever seen.
A guy gets his cock and balls ripped off TWICE by the monster and we get to see countless scenes of cheap ass gore effects
and priceless facial expressions...Who could ask for anything more?"
Tattooed
Steve: "These guys are my heros!"
News
Askew (From View Askew) Feb. 23, 2005
Joe Baker, Gram P. Bob, Dave, Dave Turnbull
http://www.viewaskew.com
And finally today, an interesting little scoop regarding a
flick we haven't heard of before. Might be worth looking up if you're into seeing EVERYTHING that the Clerks folks have worked
on:
I just found the Flesh Eaters from Outer Space/Invasion
for Flesh and Blood double feature DVD today at Best Buy. The cover features a picture of Marilyn Ghigliotti and says "Starring
Clerks star Marilyn Ghigliotti". She gets another mention on the back in the description of the movie: "A soccer mom is turned
into a cyborg alien killing machine on the hunt for extraterrestrials hell-bent on destroying the human race. With a trusty
teenage Metalhead at her side, the fate of the world is held in the balance, as sexual tension oozes from the once-human,
now soulless, creature killer. Featuring an appearance by Marilyn Ghigliotti of Clerks."
The DVD was released by the good people at Troma, of course!
Gonzoriffic 2005
http://www.geocities.com/gonzoriffic/reviews-invasionflesh.html
INVASION FOR FLESH & BLOOD
Why do I continue to rent these ultra low-budget, shot on video productions? Well, because every now
and then I see one that's exceptionally good. In this format, filmmakers can get away with so much more than we usually see
in movies (see SCHIZOPHRENIAC). Anyway, this one featured Marilyn Ghigliotti from CLERKS on the cover (she played
Dante's girlfriend Veronica), so that gave it some extra appeal. She's only in it long enough to strip naked and get killed
by some psycho guy, but that alone gives the film value. It's not a bad movie, either. It's about some green rubbery monsters
that invade earth and go around killing everybody, and has tons of gory deaths. At times it seemed to drag on a bit, but mostly
it was well-paced. It was better than THE SUCKLING, which...well...sucked.
Temple of Din 2005
http://www.templeofdin.demon.co.uk/mminvasion.html
INVASION FOR FLESH AND BLOOD Visual Experience Inc.
This film is so unbelievable it deserves no introduction whatsoever so I'll cut to the chase.
In a pre-credit sequence, narrated with no regard for dramatic sensibility by Warren Disbrow Senior,
a rubber suited alien with white bug eyes, over half a dozen nostrils and gnashing teeth maims and kills over a dozen humans
in various graphically portrayed ways, ripping out spines, throat slashing, dismemberment and emasculation. What do the forces
do to end the carnage... they drop a bomb and kill several thousand more ordinary folk.
Following the credits we are 'At Ground Zero... One day after Thermonuclear blast' and are treated
to various scenes of charred bodies and twisted vehicular wreckage. It is here that the impossible is discovered... there
is no scorched earth... indeed no plant or animal life has been touched by blast at all... Only humans and what is more even
one of them survived. As Professor Hertz (Disbrow Senior) is fast to acknowledge 'If a human being survived what about the
aliens.'
From here on the plots fairly straightforward in a complicated sort of way... there are an awful lot
of superficial scenes of violence, some of which are unnecessarily misogynistic and only deter from the light heartedness
of this capable homage to fifties science fiction/horror no-budgeters (the film is dedicated to Roger Corman and Walter Paisley).
Here goes... The survivor, Sandra Lynn (Kathy Monks) turns out to be the widow of a comic book artist
and creator of a super hero called The Golden Slayer. After she is subjected to a brain scan by the sinister Space And Missile
Systems Organisation (SAMSO) to find out the truth behind what happened to the aliens during the nuclear blast her memory
is transferred from her brain (which has been turned to mush by the combination of radiation and the scanning device) into
that of a cyborg doppelganger. She is sent on a search and destroy mission to track down the aliens or SIDs.
Along the way she teams up with an overweight dope head slacker called Hero (Kenneth J Arotin) who
having discovered she is not human is incarcerated in the local nick. Meanwhile the only way Sandra Lynn will continue working
for Hertz and his cronies is if she is allowed to take on the identity of The Golden Slayer. It is agreed. We soon realise
more has happened to her brain than was at first apparent as she designs and constructs the Golden Slayer Cyborg in record
time. She/he/it then collects Hero from the cells and off they go to the woods armed with alien frazzling weaponry.
To be honest the weapons are somewhat redundant as most of the conflict is hands on... including a
hilarious bout between a biker and an alien. The aliens are tracked back the nest which contains millions of eggs, an awful
lot of which have hatched. This news gets back to Hertz who gives the go ahead for the nuclear destruction of New Jersey and
New York resulting in world destruction.
The aliens turn out to be eco-friendly types or 'Doctors of The Universe' who travel the heavens finding
diseased planets and redressing the balance accordingly. They recognised the innate capacity for destruction within mankind
and decided to eradicate the species as if it were a virus thus saving the earth and allowing it to return to a natural state.
Yep they were good guys after all!
A short epilogue establishes the Golden Slayer and Hero as a reluctant team hell bent on wiping out
evil in the universe and squabbling like children forever... cue next adventure.
There is actually lot more goes on in 'Invasion' than this. Several throw away sub-plots including
a couple of young 'dudes' who surreptitiously film young girls stripping and screwing in there bedrooms - one of theses scenes
according to the burn in on the camcorder footage was filmed on JUL. 20 1988. There is one guy who has his penis ripped off
three times - OK he plays twin brothers but one on them suffers a double emasculation and has to change his name to Jane.
There is a lot of pseudo scientific interaction between Hertz and a suspiciously accented female scientist Dr. Chekov (Adrienne
D'Accardi). The boffins conspire to employ the Golden Slayer to do their dirty work whilst experimenting with alien seed pods
and blood in an attempt to maybe breed SIDs as weapons.
There are also a hell of a lot of scenes included purely to incorporate splatter effects including
the particularly nasty assault on a female by a would be rapist. There are enough dismemberment and gutsy slashings to keep
the gorehounds more than happy most of which are carried out niftily enough to hide the budgetary restrictions. And on the
whole the set design is pretty impressive.
Golden Slayer and Hero make an unlikely but amusing team. With Golden Slayer playing the comic book
super hero he thinks he is but is obviously not really up to it and Hero motormouthing profanely threw out as he becomes increasingly
pissed off with events he's been forced to get involved with.
Warren F. Disbrow is somewhat of a one man dynamo if you read the end credits: Writer, Photographer,
Producer, Editor, Director; SFX, Set construction; he even designed and built Golden slayer and SID the space alien and his
dad plays one of the leads. OK so it's not 'Aliens' or 'Event Horizon' or even 'The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers'... but hell,
I'm actually looking forward to the return of Golden Slayer and Hero.
dir. prod. sc. ph. Warren F. Disbrow sfx. James Cirronella, Nick Primiano, Warren Disbrow, Warren Disbrow
Snr. mus. Anthony Annunziata, Paul Krautheim, Lorenzo Conte cast. Kathy Monks, Kenneth J. Arotin, Warren Disbrow Snr., Marylin
Ghigliotti, Adrienne D'Accardi, James Cirronella, Stephen Mezo Jr. "Tattooed Steve ® ".
Hill City Comics 2004
http://www.hillcity-comics.com
Here's a film even Ed Wood would be ashamed of. Invasion for Flesh and Blood is easily one of the worst
films ever made. At least Wood's films had a campiness about them that made them enjoyable, Invasion's wooden actors, crappy
costumes, handheld video camera appearance, and overall bad taste do nothing to appeal to even the most hard-up-for-entertainment
viewer.
What I wonder is why the writer/producer/director guy spent all of his budget on fake blood and none on good acting.
The only name in the film is Marilyn Ghigliotti (Veronica from Clerks) and she's only in the film for less than five minutes,
reduced to schucking her clothes and playing a rape victim. Hey, every now and again we all get a hankerin' to watch a really
bad film... look no further. Egads, I'm going to be washing the image of the "Golden Slayer" (a comic book inspired robot
killing machine) from my mind for the years to come.
Tattooed Steve: "Wow you broke out the special sucked for that one! I'm so
glad you took the time to remember Warrens name (The writer/producer/director guy) in your review. Maybe when you're
not rebagging your comics you can make a better movie, and while your at it eat a bowl of dick."
Barbara Jo 2004
http://theyrecoming.com/movies.php?num=24
Please do not see this movie!
Tattooed Steve: "I am so using that on our next promotion poster!"
Christopher Curry
MK Magazine
Flesh Eaters From Outer Space/Invasion For Flesh
and Blood
Disbrow made these movies back to back and while they were
not solicited specifically by Troma Entertainment they do fit perfectly in the companies less than perfect oeuvre. Not allot
of build up or character development is at hand here so let's get right to it. A cheesy-ass looking alien comes to earth and
rips, tears and chomps it's way across New Jersey. With the aid of a sexy psychic starlet (who really isn't that sexy), the
athorities manage to bring the creature down or did they?
Apparently the intergalactic goon laid a bunch of eggs and now there's 100's maybe 1000's
of these damned things in and around Jersey. So the stage is set foe the sequel which is just more of the same with one big
difference. Our Sexy psychic is turned into a cyborg complete with super human strength and and intelligence. What's even
better is that she/it now has the ability to transform. You know "Transformers! Robots in disguise!" Again the aliens
are brought down and all is safe for the meantime.
Technically speaking these movies have some major problems: The script is amateurish
as is the directing, acting lighting and editing, plus it is shot entirely on video. It's really difficult
to even consider these things movies. The cast and crew appear to be weekend warriors who did this more for fun then out of
any poetic or artistic reasons or yearnings. The up side is that the alien costume, for all its cheesiness, is actually pretty
fun to look at. There are tons of T & A, shitty heavy metal music and buckets of blood and gore. You could do worse
than these, but you can damned sure do better.
Troma packed this one with some good stuff including: Trailers, behind the scenes footage
and audio commentary by the film's director.
Tattooed Steve: Wow it was so bad you had to
watch both, then go on to say it has extras?
I think it's difficult to even consider "MK Magazine" a magazine because it's
a Ezine. Anyway enough of the petty and onto the good stuff.
We were ahead of our time shooting it on Super VHS (Which is what TV
stations use) because everybody is using DVC now. And if you're looking for poetic or artisitc reasons or yearnings stick
to that chick flick about sharing pants.
Rob Dyer
Crass sequel to the similarly-titled A Taste for Flesh
and Blood, this extremely low-budget gore horror is supposed to be a comedy, a knowing wink to the SF b-movies of
the 50s, but it's more stupid than funny. After a brief resume of the previous outing, the story drops us into familiar alien
monsters on-the-loose territory. Based heavily upon the Alien films and, it seems, 80s horror shocker Night of the
Demon, this camcorder epic succeeds for the first 50 minutes or so before out-staying its welcome. Director Disbrow was
also responsible for the impressive (if deliberately cheesily-styled) creature costumes and splatter effects. As often
happens with low-budget fan filmmaking of this kind, the effort spent on effects isn't carried over to the script, characterisation
etc, etc, but provided you are in an undemanding frame of mind and have a soft spot for this kind of stuff (as I myself do),
then Invasion for Flesh and Blood does have some redeaming features.
First off, I loved the alien monster design. Yeah, it's obviously
a guy in a rubbery costume (and that is obviously part of the point of the film), but the actual design is
gruesome and amusing. Seen standing next to a character the invaders look totally unscary and laughable, but to Disbrow's
credit, when they attack the fast, jump-cut editing and copious splashing blood does convey a horrible and unsavory demise
for their victims. I also liked the (probably illegal) use of some found TV footage often as establishing shots - it
adds a slightly more professional feel to the production - even if it sticks out from the rest of the original footage like
the proverbial sore thumb. Disbrow builds on this found footage by shooting his own TV newsreel style images which also help
create a sense of a larger scale to the production. Also worthy of a special mention are some relatively impressive sets culminating
in a large cave where the aliens incubate their eggs. The acting ranges from the perfectly passable to the terrible. Unfortunately,
the character who lasts longest also happens to be the worst actor! Disbrow's father also appears as an elderly
scientist and, whilst his performance shouldn't worry Sir John Gielgud too much, he does give it his all and delivers his
lines in an entertaining manner. Aside from the above mentioned A Taste for Flesh and Blood, the director has also
made Rulers of the Apocalypse - a straight, gory dinosaur movie with full-size animatronic creatures. With proof here
of Disbrow's technical effects achievements, Rulers is a film I'd like to see.
Rob Dyer
Tattooed Steve: The "found footage" wasn't found or illegal.
Warren was offered the opportunity to film a response teams exercise for biological threats. Which was very
cool of them.
And don't worry you'll get to see "Rulers" in the near future.
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